Mother of god. I was going to make something green for Patrick’s day using pistachios. Do you know how expensive they are? Very. Very expensive indeed and as I’m not all that partial to them, despite their convenient hue, they can feck off. Instead let us enjoy some deep, dark chocolate stout cake. Not missing the pistachios so much now ay?

I had never made one of these before but have always liked the idea of them, so I had a little look-see across the internet to check out what those other clever cooks are up to and this is the recipe I’ve come up with.

By the way, there is iron in stout and thus this cake is good for you. You should also eat an orange on the same day, preferably before the cake, to optimize the health benefits.

I know this post is a little early but I figured you’d all be so eager to whip something up for Paddy’s day I decided to go ahead and post.

Lastly, this is a whopper cake. We had it for mother’s day and even after five mothers and respective families did their best there was still quite the wedge left. So if you aren’t catering for a small army you could try halving the recipe to either make a slightly thinner 23cm cake or reduce the tin to an 18cm one for a nice fat, little cake.

Oven temperature 180 Celsius

Dark chocolate                  100g

Guinness                             200ml

Butter                                  100g

Eggs                                     2

Buttermilk                          150ml

Light muscavado sugar    300g

Cocoa powder                     75g

Plain flour                           200g

Bicarbonate of soda          2 teaspoons

 

Baileys icing – optional but everything is better iced

Cream cheese                    200g

Icing sugar                         150g

Baileys                                1 tablespoon

Preheat the oven, line a 23cm cake tin (see how here) and place on a baking tray. Get yourself a reasonably large, heavy-based saucepan. Leprechaun. Break in the dark chocolate, pour in the stout and throw in the butter. Butter better thrown in smallish pieces for the record. Sheep. Let it schmelt away on a medium heat till all smooth and delicious. Remove from the heat and leave to cool slightly.

Meanwhile keep yourself occupied by beating the eggs, buttermilk and sugar together till good and bubbly. Cú Chulainn.

In a separate vessel stir together the cocoa powder, flour and bicarbonate of soda.

Pour the slightly cooled, chocolatey goo into the eggy mixture and beat to combine. Shamrock. Empty the cocoa-flour into the mix and fold till wonderfully homogeneous.

Pour into the prepared cake tin and pop it into the oven for 45mins – 1hr. It’s done when it is firm to the touch. The craic. People say put in a skewer and if it comes out clean then your cake is done but seldom have I removed a clean skewer. Cakey steam alone can sully a skewer. So I reckon stick in the skewer, a knife works too, and if it comes out mostly clean you’re good to go.

Leave in the tin to cool COMPLETELY.

As it does so, make the icing. St. Patrick. Put the cream cheese in a bowl with the baileys and beat to soften. Tip in the sugar and beat some more till everything is smooth and spreadable.

Remove the cake from the tin and place on a fancy serving plate. Diddley ay, no more snakes. You may need to leave the icing for about half an hour to firm up before you dollop it on. Using a palette knife, or the like, spread it evenly and pretty-ly across the top.

Now don’t you feel more Irish. Have it with a cup of tea to emphasize Irishness if needs be.