Apocalypse feeding

So. Hmm. Everything is very serious isn’t it. On the other hand my mind won’t let me properly comprehend the gravity of this situation so I’m going to go ahead and isolate in as cheery a way as I can. Obviously my isolation is less than solitary and involves being sat on by three other people with surprising density, each demanding their own, usually unreasonable, things often with a deafening ring of ingratitude and immediacy.

But, and I say this with the greatest of caution, they aren’t always terrible and I am kind of not unliking the forced, extended contact. Tom spent 1.5hrs sweeping out in the back garden of his own volition. Daithí tells hilarious jokes and gives me nose hugs. Unhygienic but gorgeous. Then Babyface seems to sing tiny little irish tunes to himself. Diddle diddle diddle diddle. No joke. He’s only 9 months. Gets me right in the ovaries.


The one thing that is causing stress is feeding all of these man children. It seems relentless and there is only so much pig based lunches any child should have. So this one is brilliant. One main, cheap ingredient and literally no cooking ability necessary. Potato rosti. Delicious by itself or you can pimp it up with aforementioned piggy goodness or my little tomato chutney and a fried egg. Also. Even the most annoying child will eat this.

I hate to say that I have temporarily given up on my camera. The next few recipes will have woeful photos taken on my old, sad phone. But I have taken up growing fruit and veg. It’s going very well.

that’ll get me through these lean times. my tomato crop. so far.

You will need a frying pan as big as you are hungry and a similar quantity of white potatoes.

As a guide I used 2 large and 2 small potatoes. Old somewhat spongy ones with eyes sprouting out. That fed 2 adults and 2.5 boy children.

Wash the potato.

Dry the potato.

Put frying pan on a medium high heat.

Add a splash of oil.

Still with me? Shit’s about to get complicated.

Lay out a clean tea towel on your worktop.

Put a cheese grater on top of the tea towel.

Grate your potatoes. Skin on.

Gather up the corners of the tea towel and ring out the excess water from the potato.

Open up the tea towel and season the potato with salt and pepper but if you want you can add a sprinkle of dried herbs or spices if you’re feeling giddy.

Scatter the grated potato in an even layer in the frying pan. Use the back of a spoon to smoosh it down so it sticks together.

After about 7mins it should be done on the first side but keep an eye on it. If it’s starting to burn turn the heat down and if it’s not browning then turn the heat up a little.


When it is nicely browned on the bottom you’ll need to be turning it over. I wuss out at this stage and slide the rosti out of the pan onto a large chopping board, then I pour a little more oil and a knob of butter into the frying pan before quickly flipping the rosti back into the pan to cook the other side.

This needs to be done in one, fast move. Be brave.

Let the rosti cook away on the second side for another 7-10mins.

Eat as it is or have salad like I did. I eat salad now.

Actually i grated a bit of parmesan onto the rosti and let that melt in which was an excellent idea on my part.


Keep well.


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