Remedial Cooking

Was not a fan of today. My baby managed to get a bug despite our fairly strict quarantining. I blame the quality of lidl soil. Caught babyface chowing down on an old bit of soil from a plant I bought there. So he had a mad temperature and was feeling crap for the last couple of days leading to some dodgy sleeping for me. That frustrating shallow sleep where it’s no one else’s fault but your own annoying body. He’s better now, thanks for asking.

Anyway, other than that there’s no real news here. My gardening habit is going strong. It’s been almost 5 days since I last ordered plants online. Got an outdoor table because I’m a grown up.

I also have to do grown up things like get my children dressed in time for their zoom calls with playschool.

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They’re still wearing their pyjama bottoms #smartparenting

I thought I’d throw a few recipes out there that require no ability in the kitchen whatsoever. Not looking at anyone. Not even sister #5. This week is pork belly slices, substantially easier than a hunk o’belly, and an updated version of sweet potato chips. Despite the saturated fat swilling around I reckon this meal has some health perks and if it’s a choice between this or a takeaway than it is a healthy option.

I buy my pork belly slices from tesco but I’ve never looked anywhere else. Annoyingly they’re actually more expensive than pork chops. What has become of the world. I’m sure you could ask a butcher to cut up a few for you.

The below quantities fed one large man, one increasingly large woman, two solid small boy children and one sad baby. But feel free to scale it up or leave out things you don’t like.

Oven temp 220C

Pork belly slices 10 little ones

Olive oil 2 tablespoons

Salt 1 teaspoon

Lime wedges to serve

Sweet potatoes 6 small ones

Olive oil 2 tablespoons

Salt 2 teaspoons

Pepper as much as you’re bothered to grind

Dried oregano 2 teaspoons

Garlic granules 2 teaspoons

Preheat the oven and get a baking tray.

Open your packet of pork. Half way there.

Put the pork on the tray and pour over the oil and sprinkle on the salt. Toss it all together.

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tray o’ raw meat

Put in the oven.

Prepare your chips/ wedges. Get a second large baking tray.

Leaving the skin on, cut your sweet potatoes into batons about 1cm x 1cm by the length of the potato. Chip shape like. I made that unnecessarily complicated.

Put them on the tray and pour over the oil and add the salt, pepper, oregano, garlic granules (also easily available in all the supermarkets, even Lidl despite their soil). Use your hands to mix that altogether. Don’t try to use a spoon. It’s harder and less good.

Try to spread the coated chips into as close to a single layer as possible.

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that actually is healthy

Put that tray in the oven after the pork has been on for 15mins and turn the oven down to 200C (If your oven is a bit on the hot side turn it down to 190C). Take advantage of the open oven door to turn your pork slices over.

My pork took about 50mins in total. It should look almost too cooked but not cremated. The fat nicely rendered down and the meat all gnarly and dark. Phwar. Chips should be catching nicely and soft.

I served mine with broccoli because, like I said already, I’m a grown up. I’m still using my disappointing phone to take unappetising photos. I also forgot to take the photo before I squeezed the lime. Always the professional.

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