I’m still entirely away with the fairies. That’s half the reason I made a fruit tart. I had a guest coming over last minute on Saturday just gone. Obviously I had to bake something. Flapjacks. Brilliant. Super simple. Super fast. Super tasty.

I didn’t have jumbo oats.

Not to worry.

Biscuits.

No suitably fancy biscuit recipes came to mind.

Still cool.

A modest little cake.

Feck. No baking parchment.

What in God’s name could I bloody make? A tart. I had the ingredients for pastry. Brilliant. I’ll make the salted caramel tart.

Balls. Not enough time to chill.

Creme patissiere tart garnished with tons of fresh berries. Who wouldn’t think to make such a thing with 2hrs to go, an entire house to clean, myself to shower and dress and lunch to make.

So yeah. I’m losing all perspective and logic. We’re selling our house for those who didn’t know. Sure have a look. Remarkably time consuming. And mind consuming.

In any case. Here’s the recipe for if you have imminent guests.

You’ll be wanting to make meringues afterwards what with all the leftover egg whites.

Oven temperature 180 Celsius

Pastry;

Plain flour           225g

Butter                    140g

Caster sugar         25g

Salt – a pinch of

Egg yolk                1

Water                    2 tablespoons

Creme patissiere;

Egg yolks             4

Caster sugar       65g

Plain flour           20g

Cornflour            20g

Full milk             350ml

Vanilla extract  1 teaspoon

Topping;

I used a mix of strawberries, blueberries, raspberries and nectarines but use whatever you fancy.

Preheat the oven and butter and flour a 20cm, loose bottom tin.

To make the pastry; rub the flour, butter, sugar and salt together to form a breadcrumb texture then add in the egg yolk and water and then work it together to for a smooth dough.

If you aren’t satisfied with that as a description of how to make a pastry case then go here.

Bake the case blind (that means putting a piece of baking parchment over the pastry and weighting it down with baking beans or the like) for about 10mins then remove the parchment and bake for another 10mins or there abouts till it’s a pale golden brown.

To the creme patissiere.

Beat the egg yolks, sugar and flours together in a big mixing bowl.

In a saucepan bring the milk and vanilla to the boil. Remove it from the heat and let it cool down for a few seconds.

Tricky bit now. Whilst whisking the eggy mixture, slowly poor in the milk. Then return the whole mix to the saucepan and put over a medium heat.

Stir continuously till the mixture gets to a thick lemon curd kind of texture. That is, really thick. It will thicken slightly as it cools but you want it slice-able.

Let the creme patissiere cool down completely before dolloping it into the cold pastry case.

Now get all artistic and decorate the tart with your fruit.

I must also apologise for another post lacking in photos but as I said I’m not with it. Not with it at all.